This time of year I begin seeing “cute” Pinterest, Intsagram, and Facebook posts about ways to incorporate Elf on a Shelf and even “Santa cams” into your classroom. The theory goes that once you bring these into your classroom children will magically be able to use self-control and “behave” lest the magical elf in a red suit chooses to not bring you toys.
As many of you know already I’m big on the WHY. So let’s think about why this may be a bad idea:
- It forms the connection that behavior should be policed with an outside motivator. If you are unsure why I am not okay with this at all check out my YouTube channel or past posts. Cliff notes- it is a BAD idea (check your stocking for coal).
- It creates a stressor. How many teachers are just thrilled during your most stressful times to have your boss observing you. When you have Santa watching your students constantly for rewards that is exactly what you are doing to them. The holidays are rough enough for them in terms of schedule changes, overstimulation (from sights, sounds, smells, touch, and so much more!), and higher expectations. Why add the stress of constant observation
- It connects their behavior to what is under the tree. This is different from the first one just a bit. Here I’m not addressing the long term ramifications of connecting behavior to outside motivators, but the ramifications for December 25th. There are a few scenarios that could happen but I want to address the two that are most troubling to me:
- What if child A has AMAZING behavior in the lead up to Christmas, but their family is struggling so there are little to no gifts. What does that communicate to the child? Essentially it says to the child “your behavior still wasn’t good enough”. Take a moment to place yourself in that child’s shoes. How does it feel?
- What is a child has had negative behavior (I won’t get into causes and detail what you should do here, that’s another post for another day) and still receives all the presents they want? What does that communicate to the child? They have learned there is no follow-through or worse that the behavior they exhibited in acceptable.
- Families may not want to celebrate the holidays in that manner. Maybe they don’t celebrate Christmas at all. Maybe they do a scaled-back version of the holidays. I’m all about teaching cultural norms and traditions, but ensuring a place of inclusion and support should come first.
- Many of the elf shenanigans are “naughty” to illicit laughs. I struggle with this much like I do the adult jokes shoved into children’ movies. These elf shenanigans are often exactly the things the children themselves should not be doing and here we are glorifying these things.
Instead try:
- Creating as much structure and routine as possible. Many times regular sleep and eating schedules are the first things out around the holidays as families try to get as much done as possible. This leads to unbalanced kiddos.
- Reduce stimulation in all its forms. Between the decorations, smells, people, and music the holidays can be overwhelming (as witnessed by my husband’s reactions at the mall in December!) so creating places of calm is imperative.
- Keep children’ developmental stages in the forefront of your mind. They need constant reminders and re-teaching to learn appropriate behavior. Many of our expectations are not developmentally appropriate for them and honestly goes against many human drives.
- Giving yourself and the children grace. We all make mistakes. When you are stressed your own patience lowers so take time to center yourself. I find that “take 5 breathing” or simply hugging my littles helps me to refocus.
